


Stigma

by To_Dazzling_Darkness



Category: Jrock, the GazettE
Genre: BTS Inspired, Bottom Ruki, BoyxBoy, Gay, GayzettE - Freeform, GazettE - Freeform, LGBT, M/M, ReitaxRuki, Reituki, Top Reita, Yaoi, the GazettE - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-24 02:28:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8353345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/To_Dazzling_Darkness/pseuds/To_Dazzling_Darkness
Summary: He couldn't see himself as a murderer. He just couldn't. What lead him on to this? How would this affect his relationships in the future? Just... Why?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction was inspired by V 's (from BTS) solo, Stigma. I hope this fanfiction goes weeeeellllll. Lemme know in the comments!!!! Enjoy!!!

_**PROLOGUE**   
_

 

_Look at what you've done…_

 

The voices in my head kept speaking to me. Those words kept repeating over and over again. It was like a broken record.

 

_Why would you do this?_

 

Stop talking to me…. Just stop…

 

_Your family is gone now because of you… ._

 

Stop it… stop it right now!

 

_You're shameful._

 

Those voices won't leave me alone. What do I do? The police will be here in less than 15 minutes. I need to act quickly.

 

The knife in my hand was dripping with crimson red blood, a pool of that liquid kept spreading and spreading. My hands were shaking, my stomach was cramping, my eyes were red from endless crying, my white shirt… .stained with blood.

 

And…

 

My family… They're deceased.

 

What have I done?  Mama...Papa...My big brother...What have I done? Why did I do this? Why did I become a monster? All I wanted was to be happy and I end up doing _this_!  

 

Mama, I'm so sorry… I just wanted you to accept me for who I am. I'm a good boy, I promise.  Papa, I'm sorry, too. I know I was an accident but don't make me feel like I'm less than a person. I wanted to make you happy. You needed to accept me for who I am, so, why was I an issue?  You told me that I was nothing but a fuck up, but I could've done better, Papa…

 

And... Takai… My older brother, the one I shared a room with. You bullied me so much and yet… I haven't heard an “I love you” from you at all. Nor mama...nor papa… none of you said “I love you” to me. What happened? Mama, papa, you let Takai ridicule me. You let him hit me, push me down flights of stairs…even… even taking away all of my innocents that I won't even be able to get back.

 

But yet... You guys never loved me. I was a _fuck up. Haha!_ Papa was right. You were all right. So, that's why you all had to go.

 

I'm sorry… my mother.

 

I'm sorry… my father.

 

I'm sorry… my brother.

  
Are you calling me a sinner?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a while because I was so busy. But I managed to complete the second chapter. So, I hope this was okay.

****Anything in _italics_ is a flashback. This will go on in the next few chapters, maybe****

 

* * *

 

_ I usually sit alone at lunch, just drinking milk and listening to music on full blast. My outfit was just regular ol’ high school uniform. I wore glasses and I did have pretty long hair. I dyed it blonde just to try something new for once.  _

 

_ A group of my classmates, which were seniors, were throwing away their trash. One of them looked at me, but all I did was look down at my tray of untouched food. My cheeks turned a cherry red colour, but I paid no mind to it. Why was I even blushing? I hate blushing.  _

 

_ The group of guys’ voices slowly faded away as they left the cafeteria. I wish I was in that group, but apparently, i’m not manly, tall, or let’s say “worthy” enough to be in that group. Plus, they always liked to ridicule me. Why? I don’t know. I’m just very quiet. I wouldn’t dare to speak up to them. If I did, I think I would’ve pissed my pants or something. That would give them even more reasons to torture and ridicule me.  _

 

_ My big brother is also friends with them. A sophomore college student, friends with seniors in high school. Is that normal? Does that happen a lot? I thought I could look up to my brother, but turns out that he’s just like those fools. What can I do? _

 

_ Time kind of got away from me throughout the day. I was already walking home, alone of course, but before I got even farther away from school, I heard a deep voice call my name. I didn’t turn my head. I kept walking, pulled my hood of my sweat jacket over my head and sped my walking. Then, I heard it again.  _

 

_ “Aye! You! Wait up!” The voice said. How can I hear this guy with these so called “sound proof” ear buds?! “Hey.” He grabbed on my book bag handle, causing me to almost fall backwards. I quickly turned around.  _

 

_ “What do you want?” _

 

_ “I don’t know what I want, I’m just following you.” Well, he’s definitely a retard. _

 

_ “What? Why?” I asked, crossing my arms and cocking my hips. What could he possibly want? _

 

_ “Well, I’ve noticed that you walk the same direction I do. So, maybe we can walk home together.” His voice had a hoarse to it. Something that makes me waaayy uncomfortable.  _

 

_ “I don’t really know you like that, though.”  _

 

_ “Perfect. You can get to know me then.” I rolled my eyes at his comment. _

 

_ “Okay. Whatever floats your boat.” I sighed deeply and started walking back to the direction of my house. It’s not like I really wanted to be home anyway. There’s too much….drama going on.  _

 

_ “You never really participate in class, but your name is Takanori, yeah? I'm Akira… Just so you know again.” I looked up at him. Who knew he actually pays attention in class. _

 

_ “...Yeah,” was all I said. _

 

_ “Cool. That’s cool. Look, if you don’t wanna talk I can just leave…” Did I hurt him??? _

 

_ “No! No...Um...I’m just...I’m just tired.” I shivered a bit from the cold. He was surely making me uncomfortable, but I tried not to show the discomfort. Besides, he’s only 2 feet from the left of me.  _

 

_ “Same here, but I had a few energy drinks, so, I’m pumped up.” He seemed pretty happy today. His smile was glowing from the sun, which made me smirk a little. He seemed nice and sweet, but I won't buy it.  _

 

_ “Yeah. Okay. My stop is here… guess I'll see you tomorrow.” I went up the stairs of my porch and made a small wave to that strange man who followed me. He waved back and pulled on his hood, walking away. I rolled my eyes and opened my front door. It's pretty quiet inside. It's never this quiet. Maybe my parents are at work and my brother is out with his friends.  _

 

_ I slowly made my way inside, “Mom, dad!” I called out. No answer. I closed the front door and locked it behind me, then, proceeded my way inside the house and going to the kitchen after taking off my shoes. A light snack could help my little stomach ache. I took out a piece of homemade bread from the fridge and heat it up in the microwave.  _

 

_ I then heard the door open and close. I didn't bother to look because I automatically knew it was either my father or my brother. My mother has an all day job, which means she doesn't come home until 11pm. There was a loud sigh coming from the living. Definitely my father, and also the smell of cigarettes...another thing from my father. He's a heavy drinker as well. I wish he wasn't because…  _

 

_ “Hi…dad.” I spoke from the kitchen. My bread was done heating up, so, I was already putting butter and jelly on it. He didn't respond, which made me feel dumb. The TV was on but it wasn't on loud enough for him to not hear me say hi to him. Rolling my eyes and grunting, I left the kitchen with my bread.  _

 

_ “Didn't I tell you to stay out my kitchen without my consent?” my father actually spoke, which surprised me. I was already walking towards the stairs, but stopped after hearing his question.  _

_ “Yeah, but I wasn't feeling well. So, I got me something to snack on.” I responded. My voice was flat and quiet, trying to be careful with my words.  _

 

_ “Don't care. Stay out my kitchen.” _

 

_ “Since when was it ever YOUR kitchen?” I mumbled under my breath as quietly as I could. He's not the only one paying bills in the house. My mother does all of that. And unclean majority of the house while my brother and that old hag of a father sits back drinking beer and booze, smoking, and feeding their fat faces, feet up on the table. My mother smokes too. She’s no better than them. She watches my father do so many things to me. Not just my father, my brother as well. She just watches them.  _

 

_ They're the reason why I'm such an introvert. I have nobody to talk to about my situation at home. People look at me like I'm just a weirdo who watches anime, wears glasses, and all that jazz. No one respects me.  _

 

_ No one at all.  _

 

_ “What did you say?” My father stopped all of his movements and his harsh glare pointed at me.  _

 

_ “Nothing, father.” I responded. For God's sake just let it go.  _

 

_ “You said something out of that bitchy little mouth of yours. What did you say?” _

 

_ “I said nothing. Just leave it alone, alright?”  _

 

_ “I'm not going to. Get down here, right now.”  _

 

_ Oh… .my… God. _

 

_ “Dad, I said leave it alone. It's not important, okay?”  _

 

_ He was getting up out of his seat and he stood in front of men. All I smelt were cigarettes and beer. “You listen here,” his hand started to grip my hair tightly, “Watch your damn mouth next time. I pay for the shit in this house. You stay out of my kitchen or I'll lock you in the basement with nothing. I've done it to you last time but this time will be way worse. Try me, you little priss.” Then, a shove. I ended up hitting my head on the wall and hurting my back.  _

 

_ I tried getting up but all of a sudden I'm feeling dizzy. My head was hurting worse. I did have anxiety, but I don't want it to get worse. I made my way upstairs to my bedroom, already falling on the floor as soon as I got in. My breathing was becoming unstable and I wanted to call for help. Then, sobs. I was shaking and all I did was sob and shed tears. I shouldn't be going through this at all. No one should go through such pain.  _

 

_ All I wish for is to live in a home where there's peace. I don't want to feel neglected. I know I was an accident, an ‘uh-oh’... But you're supposed to pretend like it was nothing and take care of me anyways. Not treat me like trash.  _

 

_ I just want to leave. Run away. Or maybe even kill myself… _

  
_ but that won't do me any good.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meh.... It's just meh. XDD Tell me what y'all think in the comments.

**Author's Note:**

> And there were have it. I hope y'all enjoyed this thing I did. Hahahahaha!! And this is quite short. So yeah ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
